Hi! This is Elder Lofthouse's mom, Angie. Here is his latest email:
I can't believe I've already been here for two weeks. Actually, it feels like a lot longer than that. Thank you so much for your letters! I enjoyed them all. Thank you dad for reminding me who is in charge. It can be so hard to not worry about the future or about your own lack of ability. But we are not in this alone, especially when we are doing the work of the Lord. "I will go before your face, I will be on your right hand and on your left hand, and mine angels round about you to bear you up."
Our zone gets a new district of eight elders today! Estoy animado! (I'm excited) Oh, and Thanksgiving here was great. Elder Holland and his family came in the morning. They performed some musical numbers, bore testimonies, and then Elder Holland gave a rousing talk on being grateful for having the opportunity to live in this dispensation. The Holland's adopted us on Thanksgiving so we wouldn't have to be homesick. :) Thankfully, I have not felt homesick, and I attribute that not to any lack of love for you (you're the best!) but to the blessing President Tervort gave me in my setting apart that I would not be overly homesick. I'm really glad I wrote down some of what he said in my journal that night, or I probably would have forgotten some of the blessings I was blessed with. Always write in your journal, especially about spiritual things. As Elder Dubose, one of my first zone leaders (he and his companion left to Mexico on Monday) would say, "Es muy importante para su salvacion." It's very important for your salvation. :)
I'll try and send some pictures next week. I've kept forgetting. Sorry. And if you have any questions for me, please ask them, because that will help me know what to write about.
Tell Bethany I'm so excited for her! That is so awesome that we're having another missionary going Spanish speaking to the west coast. And let me know when Yuki gets her call! They're expecting 3000 missionaries here at the MTC by January, and I think they said around 5000 this summer, which is beyond the MTC's capacity. Also, right now the missionaries here are about 15% sisters and 85% elders. They're expecting that to be closer to 50/50 in just a few months. Crazy!
I wanted to leave a thought about relying on God. That's been on my mind a lot lately. When I first put in my papers, I really, really wanted to learn another language. Then I got my call, started trying to learn Spanish, and started wishing I was going English speaking because I thought that I could be effective right from the beginning if I were going English speaking. Now I'm realizing what a blessing it is that I was called to learn another language. It makes it a lot easier to remember to rely on God. In my last lesson with our first investigator, Lisa, we were trying to commit her to a baptismal date by resolving her concern about not feeling prepared. I felt impressed to talk about the steps to baptism: faith and repentance. She definitely had faith in Jesus Christ. Baptism was something that she wanted because she wanted to follow Christ. I told her I believed she had faith and said that the next step was repentance of our sins. I asked if she knew how to repent. She said she didn't (or something like that) and I thought of the scripture in 3 Nephi that talks about offering up a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I would have been able to find that in my English scriptures without knowing the exact chapter and verse, but not in my Spanish ones. I opened up my scirptures anyway, turned to 3 Nephi, and there it was, right in front of me. And I knew what it was saying. In that moment, I KNEW God wanted me to share that scripture with Lisa, and He had given it to me. If that will happen when we're role-playing, I know that it will happen when I am teaching real investigators.
I also watched another talk by Elder Bednar on Sunday called, "Becoming a Missionary." In it, he talked about how success is a gift from God. In Alma 26, it talks about being given to know the mysteries of God, and beinggiven to bring thousands unto repentance if we are repentant, humble, etc. We should do everything we can to be worthy of the gift of success, but if it comes do not forget that it came from God. Without God, I am nothing. I could do everything in my power and still not receive an iota of success. But with Him, I can do all things. If we put forth our best effort, not expecting to be given, but humbling asking to be given, then I believe that we will feel that joy Ammon felt which only the truly penitent seeker of happiness receives. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to serve the Lord with all my time and efforts. God loves us. He is patient, merciful, and forgiving. Always, always, always turn to Him, and ask for His help. He is there and through Him, we can overcome all things.
I love you all!
-Elder Ryan Scott Lofthouse-
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
"Make Institute A Priority"
Sorry this is such a long post, but I hope it's worth the read.
I work in the meat department at a Walmart. Because of my work schedule I haven't been able to make it to institute on Tuesday evenings very often. This last Tuesday, I finally had the opportunity. I was off of work at 1:00pm and then I was able to go to my little brothers' marching band competition (the Salem Hills marching band) at BYU. After that I was going to go to my Mission Prep class at institute. The marching band performed at about 4:20pm and they sounded great! I think I was more excited about their performance than I was about any of my own. The people who were sitting behind me can attest to how in to it I was getting. Oh, I was missing marching band!!
There were several Salem Hills alumni there to support the band, some of whom are close friends that I hadn't seen for awhile. One of these was a very attractive girl that I had had a crush on in high school. She's even more beautiful now than she was back then. Well, I got to talk to her and was having a great time. The Salem Hills band is 1A this year and the awards ceremony wouldn't be until after the 5A bands had finished and the BYU marching band had performed, at about 9:30pm. I hadn't been planning on staying any later than 6:30pm so I could get to institute. However, a certain someone (yes, her) was staying, and another friend was inviting me to go get dinner with her and her sister at Panda Express (mmmm!) and I was really enjoying the marching band competition atmosphere. So, ignoring President Monson's words echoing in my head to make institute a priority, I decided to stay.
Well, it was fun, the band got first place, and I got to hear a lot of other great performances, but the night didn't end up meeting my expectations. I only briefly saw that beautiful girl after dinner. And something just didn't feel quite right as I left the stadium to go home. I began to think through my decision to stay and discuss it with my Heavenly Father. Suddenly, things became clear. I have been called to serve a mission. That should be my focus and I need to be doing everything I can to prepare. I hadn't gotten to attend my mission prep class for awhile, and I wasn't sure when I'd be able to again. It was a very foolish decision to act on a whim. I should have discussed this decision with God at the moment when I was making the decision, not hours afterward. As soon as I had done that He enlarged my perspective and deepened my understanding. I would have made the right choice. But instead I made the choice on my own and, as usual, it wasn't the best one.
There was nothing bad about staying to support my brothers and to be with old friends. There was nothing wrong with being attracted to a girl and hoping to spend more time with her. In fact, those may have been good things. But there was something better. Something more important. And I had sacrificed it for something of lesser value.
I had been excited to go to institute this week! President Monson had lowered the age at which you could serve!! I wanted to share my excitement with the rest of the class! Elder Holland had given a very similar talk as the one he'd given in the video we watched of him speaking at the MTC. That was interesting! As the clarity of what I'd chosen hit me I was filled with regret. I would have done anything to go back and change that choice!! I wished I was dreaming! It wasn't a major sin I'd committed, yet it was burning me up! I prayed for forgivness, I promised to learn from this experience and do better in the future. I still haven't completely forgiven myself.
Well, today I felt impressed to try and change my work schedule so that I could go to institute this week, perhaps as a way to make up for last week. Yet for some reason I was scared to try. I'm absolutely certain the adversary was trying to get me to just not worry about it. However, I prayed for courage and that I would be able to make the change. And it happened! I'm going to institute this week! I'm so excited!
Institute has really blessed my life. If you are a young adult, go to institute as often as you can. Make sacrifices if you need to! It is worth it! This is the quote from President Thomas S. Monson that I mentioned above:
“If you are a single college student, I ask you to make participation in institute a priority. Married students and other young adults are also welcome and encouraged to attend. Think of it. Friends will be made, the Spirit will be felt, and faith will be strengthened. I promise you that as you participate in institute and study the scriptures diligently, your power to avoid temptation and to receive direction of the Holy Ghost in all you do will be increased. Divine favor will attend those who humbly seek it. That is a promise which I leave with you.”
I have experienced this!! I know it is true! Institute is a powerful tool in the war against evil. It brings strength, increases faith, and brings the Spirit into your life.
Make institute a priority!!
I work in the meat department at a Walmart. Because of my work schedule I haven't been able to make it to institute on Tuesday evenings very often. This last Tuesday, I finally had the opportunity. I was off of work at 1:00pm and then I was able to go to my little brothers' marching band competition (the Salem Hills marching band) at BYU. After that I was going to go to my Mission Prep class at institute. The marching band performed at about 4:20pm and they sounded great! I think I was more excited about their performance than I was about any of my own. The people who were sitting behind me can attest to how in to it I was getting. Oh, I was missing marching band!!
There were several Salem Hills alumni there to support the band, some of whom are close friends that I hadn't seen for awhile. One of these was a very attractive girl that I had had a crush on in high school. She's even more beautiful now than she was back then. Well, I got to talk to her and was having a great time. The Salem Hills band is 1A this year and the awards ceremony wouldn't be until after the 5A bands had finished and the BYU marching band had performed, at about 9:30pm. I hadn't been planning on staying any later than 6:30pm so I could get to institute. However, a certain someone (yes, her) was staying, and another friend was inviting me to go get dinner with her and her sister at Panda Express (mmmm!) and I was really enjoying the marching band competition atmosphere. So, ignoring President Monson's words echoing in my head to make institute a priority, I decided to stay.
Well, it was fun, the band got first place, and I got to hear a lot of other great performances, but the night didn't end up meeting my expectations. I only briefly saw that beautiful girl after dinner. And something just didn't feel quite right as I left the stadium to go home. I began to think through my decision to stay and discuss it with my Heavenly Father. Suddenly, things became clear. I have been called to serve a mission. That should be my focus and I need to be doing everything I can to prepare. I hadn't gotten to attend my mission prep class for awhile, and I wasn't sure when I'd be able to again. It was a very foolish decision to act on a whim. I should have discussed this decision with God at the moment when I was making the decision, not hours afterward. As soon as I had done that He enlarged my perspective and deepened my understanding. I would have made the right choice. But instead I made the choice on my own and, as usual, it wasn't the best one.
There was nothing bad about staying to support my brothers and to be with old friends. There was nothing wrong with being attracted to a girl and hoping to spend more time with her. In fact, those may have been good things. But there was something better. Something more important. And I had sacrificed it for something of lesser value.
I had been excited to go to institute this week! President Monson had lowered the age at which you could serve!! I wanted to share my excitement with the rest of the class! Elder Holland had given a very similar talk as the one he'd given in the video we watched of him speaking at the MTC. That was interesting! As the clarity of what I'd chosen hit me I was filled with regret. I would have done anything to go back and change that choice!! I wished I was dreaming! It wasn't a major sin I'd committed, yet it was burning me up! I prayed for forgivness, I promised to learn from this experience and do better in the future. I still haven't completely forgiven myself.
Well, today I felt impressed to try and change my work schedule so that I could go to institute this week, perhaps as a way to make up for last week. Yet for some reason I was scared to try. I'm absolutely certain the adversary was trying to get me to just not worry about it. However, I prayed for courage and that I would be able to make the change. And it happened! I'm going to institute this week! I'm so excited!
Institute has really blessed my life. If you are a young adult, go to institute as often as you can. Make sacrifices if you need to! It is worth it! This is the quote from President Thomas S. Monson that I mentioned above:
“If you are a single college student, I ask you to make participation in institute a priority. Married students and other young adults are also welcome and encouraged to attend. Think of it. Friends will be made, the Spirit will be felt, and faith will be strengthened. I promise you that as you participate in institute and study the scriptures diligently, your power to avoid temptation and to receive direction of the Holy Ghost in all you do will be increased. Divine favor will attend those who humbly seek it. That is a promise which I leave with you.”
I have experienced this!! I know it is true! Institute is a powerful tool in the war against evil. It brings strength, increases faith, and brings the Spirit into your life.
Make institute a priority!!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Remember, Remember
I have an awful memory. Both my short term and long term memory just doesn't seem to work properly. As I mentioned in an earlier post, forgetting things is one of my least favorite parts of mortality. The scriptures are filled with verses on the topics of remembering and forgetting. "O man, remember, and perish not" (Mosiah 4:30). "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation" (Helaman 5:12). "Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?" (1 Nephi 15:11). And so forth.
Because my journal keeping has never been the greatest, there are probably many things in my life that I have forgotten. However, because I have made some effort to keep a journal I have been able to remind myself of events I may have forgotten otherwise. Some of my past blog posts have done the same thing for me.
As I reread what I have written in the past I realize a few things. First, I really have changed. Sometimes I feel like I'm the same person I've always been and I've never made any improvement. Thank goodness I'm more mature than I was in junior high or high school! Second, I see how frequently God has blessed my life. I was very good at writing about those instances in my journal and I am so thankful for that. Third, looking back gives me a bigger perspective. I can see that God has a plan for my life and that He has been guiding me throughout it. He sees the bigger picture. He knows what is going to happen in my life months and years from now and He is preparing me for those things right now.
If you don't keep a record of your life, I would encourage you to do so. I am just now starting to truly realize the value of having a journal. I wish I had been better at consistently writing in it, but I am so glad that I at least wrote something. One of the challenges we must overcome in this life is our weakness in remembering. If we wish to improve our memory and see more clearly what God has done for us and what He may have in store for us, we ought to keep an up-to-date record of our lives.
Because my journal keeping has never been the greatest, there are probably many things in my life that I have forgotten. However, because I have made some effort to keep a journal I have been able to remind myself of events I may have forgotten otherwise. Some of my past blog posts have done the same thing for me.
As I reread what I have written in the past I realize a few things. First, I really have changed. Sometimes I feel like I'm the same person I've always been and I've never made any improvement. Thank goodness I'm more mature than I was in junior high or high school! Second, I see how frequently God has blessed my life. I was very good at writing about those instances in my journal and I am so thankful for that. Third, looking back gives me a bigger perspective. I can see that God has a plan for my life and that He has been guiding me throughout it. He sees the bigger picture. He knows what is going to happen in my life months and years from now and He is preparing me for those things right now.
If you don't keep a record of your life, I would encourage you to do so. I am just now starting to truly realize the value of having a journal. I wish I had been better at consistently writing in it, but I am so glad that I at least wrote something. One of the challenges we must overcome in this life is our weakness in remembering. If we wish to improve our memory and see more clearly what God has done for us and what He may have in store for us, we ought to keep an up-to-date record of our lives.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Called to Serve
Well, I'm officially as bad at keeping a blog as I am at keeping a journal. Except not quite. I'm telling my blog about my mission call before I tell my journal...... And I got it almost a month ago.
Anyway, after months of trying to get my papers submitted, they finally were. And I received my mission call. I was riding around on a scooter, playing with my little brother on the driveway when the mail-lady came. She said, "Your mission call is here!" I was so excited! And my whole family was home so I didn't have to wait to read it! It read as follows:
"Dear Elder Lofthouse: You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the California Fresno Mission ... You should report ot eh Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, November 14, 2012. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language."
Now, most of you who are reading this probably already knew about that. The reason I'm writing the news again is because part of my online Pre-MTC training was starting a mormon.org profile. I was able to post a link to this blog and I'm hoping that eventually others not of our faith will be reading it. Since a mission is where I'll be for the next two years, I think it's a good idea to post about it. And maybe I'll have my mom take over this blog when I leave and post the e-mails and letters I send. I have a few friends who have done that.
In preparing for a mission, I have felt stress, worry, excitement, and joy. I've mostly been worrying about learning a new language. I know that I could be an effective missionary right from the start if I were speaking English. But now I have to learn to express myself in a different language before I'll be an effective tool in God's hands. I also have to get an extension on my Driver's License, get a couple new immunizations, fill out some forms my Mission President sent me, purchase a bicycle, become familiar with Preach My Gospel like I'm familiar with the Book of Mormon, attend the temple as often as possible, and try to continue focusing on mission preparation even when I'm just tired of it. There is so much to do, and I'm grateful for the two months I have to prepare. However, as I've tried to do all these things and spend my time wisely, I have felt an increase of the Spirit in my life. I know that the language will come, I know that God will help me complete all the things I need to, and I know that as I exercise faith in Him, I will be able to work miracles in His name.
I am so excited for this opportunity to serve! I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's church and kingdom on the earth today. I know that He has called me to serve a mission in Fresno California for specific reasons. There are people there who are being prepared to hear the gospel from me. He loves each and everyone of us more than we can comprehend. Whatever mistakes we make in life, they can be made right through the Atonement of Christ. He never gives up on us. Pray everyday to Him to have your testimony strengthened and live the commandments all the time. You will be blessed.
Anyway, after months of trying to get my papers submitted, they finally were. And I received my mission call. I was riding around on a scooter, playing with my little brother on the driveway when the mail-lady came. She said, "Your mission call is here!" I was so excited! And my whole family was home so I didn't have to wait to read it! It read as follows:
"Dear Elder Lofthouse: You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the California Fresno Mission ... You should report ot eh Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, November 14, 2012. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language."
Now, most of you who are reading this probably already knew about that. The reason I'm writing the news again is because part of my online Pre-MTC training was starting a mormon.org profile. I was able to post a link to this blog and I'm hoping that eventually others not of our faith will be reading it. Since a mission is where I'll be for the next two years, I think it's a good idea to post about it. And maybe I'll have my mom take over this blog when I leave and post the e-mails and letters I send. I have a few friends who have done that.
In preparing for a mission, I have felt stress, worry, excitement, and joy. I've mostly been worrying about learning a new language. I know that I could be an effective missionary right from the start if I were speaking English. But now I have to learn to express myself in a different language before I'll be an effective tool in God's hands. I also have to get an extension on my Driver's License, get a couple new immunizations, fill out some forms my Mission President sent me, purchase a bicycle, become familiar with Preach My Gospel like I'm familiar with the Book of Mormon, attend the temple as often as possible, and try to continue focusing on mission preparation even when I'm just tired of it. There is so much to do, and I'm grateful for the two months I have to prepare. However, as I've tried to do all these things and spend my time wisely, I have felt an increase of the Spirit in my life. I know that the language will come, I know that God will help me complete all the things I need to, and I know that as I exercise faith in Him, I will be able to work miracles in His name.
I am so excited for this opportunity to serve! I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's church and kingdom on the earth today. I know that He has called me to serve a mission in Fresno California for specific reasons. There are people there who are being prepared to hear the gospel from me. He loves each and everyone of us more than we can comprehend. Whatever mistakes we make in life, they can be made right through the Atonement of Christ. He never gives up on us. Pray everyday to Him to have your testimony strengthened and live the commandments all the time. You will be blessed.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
God Loves Us So Much
I have had a great weekend. I have felt the Spirit more powerfully and more often than I have in a long time. I have several experiences from the past two days that I want to share.
Yesterday I was home alone doing the dishes when suddenly I felt an overwhelming feeling of love. It seemed so random! I immediately stopped what I was doing, got down on my knees and began to pray out loud. I thanked Heavenly Father for His mercy, grace, and love. The feeling grew stronger. It's hard to describe it. Borrowing words from the scriptures, there was a swelling in my breast and I felt an my soul being enlarged. Those spiritual moments can come at any time. If we are not living the way we should be, we could very well miss them. I know that God was telling me that I was on the right path and doing the right things and that He was pleased with me.
Today after my family went to church (my homeward meets at eleven, the YSA ward I go to meets at one) I watch The Testaments. I love that movie. Every time I watch it I'm bawling at the end. I felt that overwhelming love again. And I began to feel a burning desire to share that love. I wanted God to lead me to those souls who were seeking to become better that I could help. This is something I had been praying for. I want to go on a mission for many different reasons, but I want the biggest reason to simply be a desire to share God's love with His children. So I've been praying for that. I met with my Stake President today, and my mission papers are going to be submitted tomorrow. Something he challenged me to do to prepare to serve was to talk to people that I don't know. In that moment of joy and love after the movie, I determined that I was going to talk to people in my ward today that I didn't know.
Soon after arriving to church, that feeling had faded. I sat alone, and even though my entire bench ended up filled with people I didn't know by the beginning of the meeting, I didn't talk to any of them. I began to feel a little discouraged. This feeling grew stronger when I realized that I had failed to do my home teaching this month despite having been determined to fulfill my duty at the beginning of the month. I began to pray, expressing my sorrow at my failure and at my weakness and asking for help in overcoming my infirmities. I saw that the intermediate hymn was no. 130, so I opened up to it to see what it was. The words struck me. Hymn no. 130 is "Be Thou Humble."
Be thou humble
in the weakness,
and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
shall lead thee by the hand
and give thee answers to thy prayers.
Be thou humble
in thy pleading,
and the Lord thy God shall bless thee,
shall bless thee with a sweet
and calm assurance that he cares.
One of the scriptures at the bottom of the page was Ether 12:27. "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I have been trying so hard the last few weeks to come unto Christ. I have made leaps and bounds in my progress. As I read this scripture I began to understand, and this is what I wrote in my notebook:
"I came to Christ and he showed me my weakness in talking to people I don't know. At first, this discouraged me. I changed that discouragement to humility. He spoke to me through the words of Hymn No. 130 and Ether 12:27. I felt consumed by his love as he showed me that if I am humbleand have faith in him, his grace is sufficient."
I felt that love in a particularly powerful way as I partook of the sacrament and reflected again and again on the words of the hymn and of Ether 12:27. When we are humble in our pleading, the Lord truly does bless us with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.
God loves us. I know that with all my heart. "He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh" (2 Nephi 4:21). He knows our fears, our concerns, and our weaknesses and he wants to help us overcome them. He has helped me in overcoming the greatest challenge I have ever faced. His power is real. The power of the atonement can help you through any struggle. If you feel you are in the darkest pit, you can still find light. I have been through awful despair and my Savior has lifted me up to unspeakable joy. There is nowhere he can't reach, no wound he can't heal, no sorrow he can't comfort. He loves you, and he can and will help you if you humbly and sincerely seek his divine help.
Yesterday I was home alone doing the dishes when suddenly I felt an overwhelming feeling of love. It seemed so random! I immediately stopped what I was doing, got down on my knees and began to pray out loud. I thanked Heavenly Father for His mercy, grace, and love. The feeling grew stronger. It's hard to describe it. Borrowing words from the scriptures, there was a swelling in my breast and I felt an my soul being enlarged. Those spiritual moments can come at any time. If we are not living the way we should be, we could very well miss them. I know that God was telling me that I was on the right path and doing the right things and that He was pleased with me.
Today after my family went to church (my homeward meets at eleven, the YSA ward I go to meets at one) I watch The Testaments. I love that movie. Every time I watch it I'm bawling at the end. I felt that overwhelming love again. And I began to feel a burning desire to share that love. I wanted God to lead me to those souls who were seeking to become better that I could help. This is something I had been praying for. I want to go on a mission for many different reasons, but I want the biggest reason to simply be a desire to share God's love with His children. So I've been praying for that. I met with my Stake President today, and my mission papers are going to be submitted tomorrow. Something he challenged me to do to prepare to serve was to talk to people that I don't know. In that moment of joy and love after the movie, I determined that I was going to talk to people in my ward today that I didn't know.
Soon after arriving to church, that feeling had faded. I sat alone, and even though my entire bench ended up filled with people I didn't know by the beginning of the meeting, I didn't talk to any of them. I began to feel a little discouraged. This feeling grew stronger when I realized that I had failed to do my home teaching this month despite having been determined to fulfill my duty at the beginning of the month. I began to pray, expressing my sorrow at my failure and at my weakness and asking for help in overcoming my infirmities. I saw that the intermediate hymn was no. 130, so I opened up to it to see what it was. The words struck me. Hymn no. 130 is "Be Thou Humble."
Be thou humble
in the weakness,
and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
shall lead thee by the hand
and give thee answers to thy prayers.
Be thou humble
in thy pleading,
and the Lord thy God shall bless thee,
shall bless thee with a sweet
and calm assurance that he cares.
One of the scriptures at the bottom of the page was Ether 12:27. "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I have been trying so hard the last few weeks to come unto Christ. I have made leaps and bounds in my progress. As I read this scripture I began to understand, and this is what I wrote in my notebook:
"I came to Christ and he showed me my weakness in talking to people I don't know. At first, this discouraged me. I changed that discouragement to humility. He spoke to me through the words of Hymn No. 130 and Ether 12:27. I felt consumed by his love as he showed me that if I am humbleand have faith in him, his grace is sufficient."
I felt that love in a particularly powerful way as I partook of the sacrament and reflected again and again on the words of the hymn and of Ether 12:27. When we are humble in our pleading, the Lord truly does bless us with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.
God loves us. I know that with all my heart. "He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh" (2 Nephi 4:21). He knows our fears, our concerns, and our weaknesses and he wants to help us overcome them. He has helped me in overcoming the greatest challenge I have ever faced. His power is real. The power of the atonement can help you through any struggle. If you feel you are in the darkest pit, you can still find light. I have been through awful despair and my Savior has lifted me up to unspeakable joy. There is nowhere he can't reach, no wound he can't heal, no sorrow he can't comfort. He loves you, and he can and will help you if you humbly and sincerely seek his divine help.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
The Enabling Power of the Atonement
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. Often, I feel completely overwhelmed with my weaknesses and I feel like Nephi when he said, "O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins." I've generally had a very negative attitude about myself. When it came time for me to submit my mission papers and to receive the Melchizedek priesthood, I couldn't. At that time (about a month and a half ago), I felt completely out of place at institute or at church. Those people were so much better than me, I thought to myself. My closest friends are all on missions. I began to question whether I would ever be able to serve a mission.
Two weeks ago, I posted on facebook this status: "No one should ever marry me. Please remind me if I ever start getting into a relationship." This was following a fight between me and my younger brother. I lost my temper with him, partly because I was frustrated with my parents, but I took it out on him. I was so angry. God had been trying to tell me for weeks that I needed to forgive my family members of their faults, especially my parents. And I was having the hardest time with it. I was so angry and frustrated at that moment. And I couldn't see anyway that I could change.
Thankfully, I have a wonderful uncle who has a strong testimony and who has been a great example to me in the past year and a half. He wanted me to read an article from April's Ensign called, "The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality," which was taken from a talk Elder David A. Bednar gave at BYU a few years ago. In it, he speaks of the enabling power of the atonement. He says that the atonement is not just about making bad men good, but about making good men better. As I read this article, I began to realize that I could use the power of Christ's atonement to overcome any challenge. Still though, I struggled.
A week ago, on a Saturday night, I finished reading the first book in Brandon Mull's, "The Beyonders" series. The book is all about fighting evil despite the consequences. An evil wizard named Maldor has nearly solidified his power over the land of Lyrian, and only a very few try to fight him. All of them fail. Most give in to his offers of power or to live out their days at Harthenham, a place where they can rest from all their worries at the Eternal Feast. Yet though the odds are against him and their are many other options he could take, the main character, Jason, chooses to fight Maldor no matter what the cost, which he knows is most likely imprisonment and torture. There is also a character named Tark who seems to go through a cycle of heroism, followed by failure, followed by self-pity, followed by a chance encounter with Jason that once again inspires him to be heroic again. I wanted to be like Jason, but felt all too much like Tark.
The next morning, I typed up some thoughts, telling myself that I was on a quest against dark forces and that I could not fail. It's a lengthy paragraph that I now have hanging in my room and I read it often to rekindle my determination to stay on the right path. In this past week, I have read my scriptures every morning; I have said prayers morning and night, endeavoring to make them mighty prayers; I have done my best to sacrifice what God asks me to sacrifice; I have sought to do His will; I received a priesthood blessing from my father to give me additional strength and guidance, a blessing in which he mentioned "the enabling power of the spirit"; I have shared my testimony; and I have felt the spirit often.
No matter where we are at, no matter what mistakes we have made, no matter what our faults may be, our Heavenly Father loves us. He has a plan for each one of us. If we will turn to him with full purpose of heart, he will strengthen us and guide us. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). The atonement is powerful, and through it we can not only obtain a remission of our sins, but we can be enabled to overcome any challenge we may face. Turn to the Lord, trust in him, and humbly do whatever he asks. You will be blessed.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Small and Simple Means
I have not posted for a long time. My apologies. I've been slacking off on a lot of things. Sadly, this includes prayer and scripture study. Lately, I feel that's all I've been hearing about in institute, church, and stake conference. Read your scriptures and pray. That's how you receive the influence of the spirit. That's how you come closer to Christ.
In institute the other day we talked about the story of Naaman from 2 Kings 5. He was a captain of the armies of Syria and he had leprosy. A young girl who had been brought captive from Israel said that if only the prophet were there she could heal Naaman. The king of Syria eventually heard this and told Naaman to go seek the prophet, Elisha. Naaman did so, but when he came to Elisha's dwelling, only a messenger came out to him. And this messenger told Namaan that Elisha wanted him to wash seven times in the Jordan river seven times and he would be clean. Naaman grew angry that Elisha hadn't come out to meet him and that he was being asked to wash in that dirty river. However, one of Naaman's servants asked, "if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?" So Naaman humbled himself and did as the prophet instructed, and he was cleansed of his leprosy.
When we talk about following the prophet, I believe we think along the lines of "If he introduces a new doctrine or something, then we listen to him and make that change." But he is rarely asking us to do anything big. In fact, most of the time he's asking us to do the things we've been told to do our whole lives. "If the prophet had bid thee to do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it?" Then why not when he says to read our scirptures daily and pray morning and night? Why not when he says to pay our tithing? Why not when he says to make institute a priority, and to serve missions, and to marry in the temple? Why not when he tells us to write down impressions from the spirit? By small and simple means are great things brought to pass (Alma 37:6). God has shown us the way. It is simple and it is doable. I'm going to try harder to do the small and simple things in my life.
In institute the other day we talked about the story of Naaman from 2 Kings 5. He was a captain of the armies of Syria and he had leprosy. A young girl who had been brought captive from Israel said that if only the prophet were there she could heal Naaman. The king of Syria eventually heard this and told Naaman to go seek the prophet, Elisha. Naaman did so, but when he came to Elisha's dwelling, only a messenger came out to him. And this messenger told Namaan that Elisha wanted him to wash seven times in the Jordan river seven times and he would be clean. Naaman grew angry that Elisha hadn't come out to meet him and that he was being asked to wash in that dirty river. However, one of Naaman's servants asked, "if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?" So Naaman humbled himself and did as the prophet instructed, and he was cleansed of his leprosy.
When we talk about following the prophet, I believe we think along the lines of "If he introduces a new doctrine or something, then we listen to him and make that change." But he is rarely asking us to do anything big. In fact, most of the time he's asking us to do the things we've been told to do our whole lives. "If the prophet had bid thee to do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it?" Then why not when he says to read our scirptures daily and pray morning and night? Why not when he says to pay our tithing? Why not when he says to make institute a priority, and to serve missions, and to marry in the temple? Why not when he tells us to write down impressions from the spirit? By small and simple means are great things brought to pass (Alma 37:6). God has shown us the way. It is simple and it is doable. I'm going to try harder to do the small and simple things in my life.
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